Quiet Time

Everyone should read this beautiful piece of literature. As I can't link you directly to the post, just scroll down to Nov 12th 2009 and read "Rimbaud's Son." Set some time aside to do this, don't rush the process, you'll need to savour every word. Sheila O'Malley is most definitely a writer to watch out for.

Such a heartbreaking story.

Oh do blog some more!

You've got to love this girl. I'm trying to convince her to come back to the blogosphere. I get along fantastically well with her in college (we were partners for most of last year) and she's responsible for the odd collection of Malaysian phrases I come out with every now and again, terima kasih Ezlyn!

Whenever you read her posts, just think of a petite Malaysian girl recounting her story with this huge, beautiful smile, so polite she just can't say a mean thing about anyone and so excitable when it comes to shopping. Oh and did I mention she's just fantastic for a good gossip, gasps in all the right places.

Here she recounts the rush of shopping addiction, hilarious.

"However, sometimes (if you have zero will power like me), you're caught in that moment of.. euphoria when you are overwhelmed with the amazing choices of clothes on your laptop screen and like a brainless programmed robot, you click the PURCHASE button instantaneously. In the aftermath of the shopping frenzy, you slowly come to your senses and fall into a deep dark chasm called regret. "

Blogs I like

This is going to be a recurring blog theme where I chat about blogs I like reading on a daily basis. Thought I'd start with something humourous so check out My Mom is a Fob for a few giggles!

Essentially it's a collection of quotes by Korean/Chinese-American Mothers, sooooo funny!

Here's a long but hilarious list of some of my favourite quotes on it:
Mom: I don’t feel like going to work today. I want to play hooker. Me: You mean, HOOKEY?!

Girlfriend’s mom: Do you want something to eat?
Me: No, I’m not hungry.
Girlfriend’s mom: Why not?
Me: I’m not feeling well. My stomach really hurts…
Girlfriend’s mom: (Deep in thought) Ohhh… It’s probably you have problem with your intesticles.

Dating Analogies
“Never give anyone a free trial and take your product home. They must pay full amount first. Because if they get free trial, I know because I sell cosmetics for so many years, they will always return product.”

My mom is always suspicious. Everything I do, she automatically concludes that I must be smoking. She tries so hard to bust me for smoking and I don’t even smoke.
Scenario A:
Mom: Are you hungry?
Me: No mom.
Mom: Why aren’t you? It’s way past dinner time… You’re smoking aren’t you! Smoking leads to lost appetite.
Scenario B:
Mom: What are you doing?
Me: I’m doing laundry.
Mom: WHY? You never do laundry! You’re hiding something… You must be smoking. You’re
SMOKING AREN’T YOU!
Me: Mom… I just wanted to be helpful. Forget it, you can do
the laundry for me.
Scenario C:
Mom: Did you just take another shower?
Me: Yes….
Mom: WHY? That’s the second time you took a shower!
Me: Mom, I just got done playing football outside. Chill OUT!
Mom: You’re smoking aren’t you?
Scenario D:
Mom: You look funny. You’re face lost some weight.
Me: WHAT….?
Mom: You’re SMOKING aren’t YOU!?

My friend and I were talking about some guys we met while in the car with my mother:
Friend: “The blonde one was hitting on you.”
Mom: “He PUNCHED you!?”

So my mom phones me the other day…
mom: richard! you got a christmas card! it’s from a girl! i will read it to you!
me: no it’s ok. i will open it when i get home next time
mom: no it’s ok i already read it! here. (she reads slowly, having trouble with some words) oh wow, so i looked up this word—awesome—it means extremely impressive! and she even says… sunshine and rainbow! wow she is totally into you.
me: …um mom, you don’t have to open my mail ok?
mom: it’s ok. i really don’t mind. have you eaten?


Scene: School parking lot after class ends. My mom points out a Chinese couple making out near the bathrooms.
Mom: Aiiiiiiiiiii-YAAAAAAAAAA! Can’t they do that behind bushes or suuumting? If you eveeeeeeeeeeer get boyfriend, don’t let me see do something like that!
Me: Don’t worry. I wouldn’t dare to.
Mom: Good. Because if you do, I take picture and send it to grandma. And then when grandma get heart-attack, you pay hospital bills.

I have to wake up early tomorrow morning for a job interview.
My mom sends me this text:
"pls sleep soon. nobody like swallen face and jumble eyes. gooooooooodluck.love mom."