Blogs I like

This is going to be a recurring blog theme where I chat about blogs I like reading on a daily basis. Thought I'd start with something humourous so check out My Mom is a Fob for a few giggles!

Essentially it's a collection of quotes by Korean/Chinese-American Mothers, sooooo funny!

Here's a long but hilarious list of some of my favourite quotes on it:
Mom: I don’t feel like going to work today. I want to play hooker. Me: You mean, HOOKEY?!

Girlfriend’s mom: Do you want something to eat?
Me: No, I’m not hungry.
Girlfriend’s mom: Why not?
Me: I’m not feeling well. My stomach really hurts…
Girlfriend’s mom: (Deep in thought) Ohhh… It’s probably you have problem with your intesticles.

Dating Analogies
“Never give anyone a free trial and take your product home. They must pay full amount first. Because if they get free trial, I know because I sell cosmetics for so many years, they will always return product.”

My mom is always suspicious. Everything I do, she automatically concludes that I must be smoking. She tries so hard to bust me for smoking and I don’t even smoke.
Scenario A:
Mom: Are you hungry?
Me: No mom.
Mom: Why aren’t you? It’s way past dinner time… You’re smoking aren’t you! Smoking leads to lost appetite.
Scenario B:
Mom: What are you doing?
Me: I’m doing laundry.
Mom: WHY? You never do laundry! You’re hiding something… You must be smoking. You’re
SMOKING AREN’T YOU!
Me: Mom… I just wanted to be helpful. Forget it, you can do
the laundry for me.
Scenario C:
Mom: Did you just take another shower?
Me: Yes….
Mom: WHY? That’s the second time you took a shower!
Me: Mom, I just got done playing football outside. Chill OUT!
Mom: You’re smoking aren’t you?
Scenario D:
Mom: You look funny. You’re face lost some weight.
Me: WHAT….?
Mom: You’re SMOKING aren’t YOU!?

My friend and I were talking about some guys we met while in the car with my mother:
Friend: “The blonde one was hitting on you.”
Mom: “He PUNCHED you!?”

So my mom phones me the other day…
mom: richard! you got a christmas card! it’s from a girl! i will read it to you!
me: no it’s ok. i will open it when i get home next time
mom: no it’s ok i already read it! here. (she reads slowly, having trouble with some words) oh wow, so i looked up this word—awesome—it means extremely impressive! and she even says… sunshine and rainbow! wow she is totally into you.
me: …um mom, you don’t have to open my mail ok?
mom: it’s ok. i really don’t mind. have you eaten?


Scene: School parking lot after class ends. My mom points out a Chinese couple making out near the bathrooms.
Mom: Aiiiiiiiiiii-YAAAAAAAAAA! Can’t they do that behind bushes or suuumting? If you eveeeeeeeeeeer get boyfriend, don’t let me see do something like that!
Me: Don’t worry. I wouldn’t dare to.
Mom: Good. Because if you do, I take picture and send it to grandma. And then when grandma get heart-attack, you pay hospital bills.

I have to wake up early tomorrow morning for a job interview.
My mom sends me this text:
"pls sleep soon. nobody like swallen face and jumble eyes. gooooooooodluck.love mom."