Embarrassing Moments

We've all had them so for your amusement I'll share three (of many) with you, in order of the least to the most embarrassing.

Story 1.
I was walking home from town one day and as I was passing through college, I popped into the bathrooms. Now ya see, I was in a bit of a rush but I mean I know UCC really well so I just ran over to the Aula Maxima (where I had all of my summer exams) and right into the gents. Or so I thought. It was only the second that I closed the cublicle door behind me and a slew of women walked in that I realised my mistake. I was in the ladies and worse again, there was a wedding on in the area.

Literally* hundreds of women queued up to use the ladies so I resolutely sat in my cubicle with the door locked................for 45 minutes. Honestly, it took that long for them to apply all of their makeup and gossip about how beautiful the bride looked but more importantly, who was going to sleep with whom after the reception.

Story 2.
I always got along well with my teachers in school. They were the bees knees and I looked on them with awe and admiration, they could do no wrong. Unfortunately, I was quite the innocent child growing up too and one day my Dad had to sit me down to explain the facts of life. After all was said and done, I was admittedly a little shocked. My only response was "Does my school teacher really do that??!!" The thing is, my teacher at the time was a friend of the family so this made the revelation even more startling. I mean, this woman used to call by my house over the Christmas holidays!

It wasn't until years later that I realised just how embarrassing this story was because.......... my parents thought the whole thing was so hilarious that they told her over dinner one night. Furthermore, she found thought it so funny that she told her friends and was only thrilled to recount the story in detail to MY FRIEND whilst she was in the house. I'm still blushing.

Story No 3.
We have German tv channels at home so I recorded this bit on animal testing (makeup and stuff) on a show for my German class at school. Admittedly it was a very geeky thing for a 17 year old to do but I got along great with my teacher and I thought we might get a chance to watch The Simpsons, which was on after the documentary. The next day I bring in the video, we watch the animal doc and I ask the teacher if we can just carry on watching.

Bad. Choice.

Turns out, the next topic they were discussing on the show was....breast implants. German TV is hardly known for being conservative so they interviewed porn stars from then on about what kind of implants they'd gotten etc. My teacher kept on stopping and fast forwarding but every time she pressed play there'd just be a big zoom in on some porn star and she'd have to ask "Eh...Piney when do you think this'll be over?"!!! Everyone in the class was in stitches saying I'd brought in my "private collection." If only they'd known I was gay back then.

So there you have it peeps! I can only hope by sharing these stories with you that I'll get over them...some day.

*OK maybe like 25-30